Hooray, it finally happened. I knew it had to happen some day. I am a lover of art, I really like seeing talented artists spending time on an incredible labor of love, and creating for us some exquisite piece of art. And I’m not picky, I like sculptures, paintings, drawings, comics, graphics, oragamy, photography, writing, whatever, I like it all. But, being an artist myself, I am getting sick and tired of all of these no talent hacks, who know somebody that owns some hifalutin’ fancy art gallery, grabbing a handful of paint, throwing it at a canvas, calling it “Macabre in the springtime” and selling it for mega millions. Anymore these days when you walk into an art gallery you can’t tell if something is supposed to be art, or if it is indeed actually trash. You could sweep up a pile of dirt in the corner of the room, label it “Crime in the City,” put your name next to it, and be hailed by the critics as the next Picasso. Believe me, you are no Picasso, to Picasso that would be a pile of dirt that needs to be taken to the garbage.

So anyway, where am I going with all of this? Recently in Oregon, an “artist” put up his work in the Southern Oregon University art courtyard. The piece? Seven miles of red tape strewn throughout the gallery, without any kind of label to accompany it. What did he call it? “The Depravity of Society Juxtaposed Against the Apathy of Contemporary Culture.” So here we go, simple red tape thrown about for 5 minutes, long windbaggy name, sit back and wait for the accolades. Unfortunately for this scam artist, he got the credit he truly deserved and found out exactly what his garbage was worth. Garbage. That’s right, a Sophomore after seeing the “mess” and not realizing it was an art project (because, let’s face it, it wasn’t), decided to clean it up, or in her own words “I was just picking up what people had made messy.”

The funniest part of it all? The artist had this to say, “The piece will be re-assembled, Third time’s the charm I guess.” In other words, this has happened before. Get the clue, it’s not art, it’s trash. Everybody else seems to get that. You shouldn’t have to explain, via a news outlet, that your art is art to keep it from getting pitched with yesterdays fodder. True art keeps itself from getting dumped. Just food for thought.

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